I like to have my hands free to do my work so I don’t carry a flashlight even though my aunt got me one I can wear around my neck. It’s usually to late and I’m too lazy to go back to the house and fetch it by the time I start wishing I had it.
On the plus side of life, I have the ability to forget bad bad things. Then I’ll run into someone and they’ll say, “Don’t you remember when this and that happened?” And...I’ll say, “Nope”...at which point they start going into detail...I then tune out, or change the subject, or say, “nice seeing you” and exit lickity split. However, sometimes I guess it is beneficial to remember bad things...like collecting eggs at night is not good. I know this, but guess I needed a reminder...so blinking my eyes numerous times trying to adjust to the dark, I felt confident the nest box was safe to check for eggs...however the black snake was so offended by my obtrusive behavior as she tried to consume her dinner of fresh eggs, she rattled her tail at me while promptly projecting poop across my face and arm. In defense I promptly tried to pee on her, only I forgot to aim or take my shorts off. So my animalistic defense methods need some tweaking.
For anyone who’s been pooped on by a snake, it’s not as bad as being sprayed by a skunk, but it will test your gag reflexes in case you were wondering if they still work. As a result I had to hose my pajamas off in the driveway and take my second shower for the evening. I also have this memory clearly burned into my brain...No collecting eggs in the dark!!!!
By morning I’m feeling energetic as my self administered stress test, proved that my heart was strong. Having slept with a health slab of Vick’s up my nose, it had me believing I smelled okay and I went about my chores with a little speed in my step as I had a meeting to get too.
Things were all fine and dandy till Zak and Marilyn spotted some chicken feed stealing squirrels! Their ferocious barks and chasing of the rodents up a tree caused Lucy to jump the fence. As soon as the three realized they were all FREE...into the woods they ran. UGH...I don’t have time for this. I call and call and call as I throw out feed. With no reply I head to the house for keys and jump in my truck to try and catch up with them. Up and down the road I go four times....no such luck. I decide to hear back to house and change from pajamas to my meeting clothes and to take the seven mile drive around the neighborhood in search of the wanderers.
I drive, I call, I whistle...no sign of them at all. I get back home...nothing...So I make the loop again. Same results...drive, call, whistle...nothing. Back home I get out and start calling as loud as I can call a dog that is in lots of trouble once they get home. Look at the time and I should have left fifteen minutes ago for my meeting...GRRRR.
I put Lucy in the back because I knew she would be the most likely to stay put. She jumped in the bed and seemed grateful or the ride. When I opened the door to the cab Zak was more than happy to get in but wasn’t sure of the small space. I got Marilyn loaded and she didn’t like the small space at all and jumped out the window before I could roll it up. So now I’ve got two loaded and I’m trying to catch Marilyn who doesn’t want any part of this at all. It took some convincing but I finally caught her and with much resistance I had to pick up the wet, dirty hound while in my meeting clothes...which basically means...short and T-shirt...but they were clean when I started out.
During the drive home I had to stay in second gear because half the time Zak has his butt in my face as he tried to sit on my shoulder, I was unable to reach the gear shift as Marilyn tried to climb up on the dash thinking she could squeeze past Zak and I, and jump out the window again. So with no air conditioning and unable to roll windows all the way down, the dogs took turns drooling on me, stepping on me, and just griming me up as much as possible.
Once home, a shower and change of clothes along with a text that I would be LATE!! The bonus for the morning a well behaved cat sat in my lap for awhile during the meeting only reinforcing that, Cat’s Rule, Dogs Drool.